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Just now, someone suggested that I might have bipolar disorder. And when I was thinking of what I should write tonight, I started to realize that that fact may be true. I've admitted so many times that I don't understand myself. And till now, I don't really know what's my goal or even who's the real me behind this name?

There's a long list of things I did that contradict to the person I want to be. Or maybe The person I thought I would. Some of them are jut little little things that doesn't affect my life much. But couple of them really need anew me in order to get rid of them.

The number one thing is something that make me regret for my whole life I think. And a new me from inside should settle that. I don't think its difficult but still, I hope everything will go just fine.

The second one is also some silly stuff. But it had been lingering around me for more than half a decade. So I started this programme called "HEALING" to myself. In one year, I should manage t get rid of everything in shaa Allah :) Down here, my countdown :)

Goodbye memories, goodbye lust. 

Someone or maybe everyone should pray for my success in this war against me. And tell me I can :)